Little Prince

i honestly say that... it hit the pit of my stomach about yesterday... when my grandma gave me a heartfelt hug after fixing her fence and saying "i can always depend on you matty... i love you" and later finding out that she cried in front of my mom about it... it really hurts to leave... i sound like such a momma's and nana's boy but i am going to miss them terribly... i am the closest i think to them out of all thier kids and grandkids... that isnt the only thing that hurts... i guess its just the fear of going over there and winding up like i was in high school for so many years... the only one without a girlfriend... watching everyone else in bliss... its rather immature to be complaining about something so trivial... but still... i dont know what to do about these feelings deep in my heart... :(. i am sure in time i will come to accept things and live my own life like i have always wanted to... until then... i will survive.... because hanging on that... keeps me going...